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Subcribe to comment rss feedAvoid disappointment, avoid expectations
Francesco Carovillano
Through nature and image-making I keep discovering who I am. The more I grow older, the more these two things merge together.
I’m a full-time landscape photographer mainly working in the forest of Fontainebleau, France.
While I was growing up, one of my close friends was a guy nine years older than me named Claudio. Our friendship started when I was 15 and in high school, while he was 24 and finishing up his university studies. One day Claudio told me that to avoid disappointments, he avoided expectations. I didn’t know what to think about that, I was confused and couldn’t grasp its meaning. I remember that I was, and to a certain extent still am, a dreamer, while he was a realist. Compared to other people, on average, by personality, I was and still am, more willing to take risks in an attempt to do exactly what I want.
Rather than lying to myself and remaining in my comfortable present position, as soon as it becomes unsatisfying, no matter how hard I had to work to earn it, I rapidly abandon it to chase new aspirations. Conversely, he was more cautious; he did not feel the same rush to create and “become”, and didn’t have any curiosity for big changes. To me, my evolving aspirations never really seemed impossible, and I have always believed that I had to climb my own ladder to get to them. Regarding him, I felt like there was an invisible layer between him and his desires. I believed that this invisible layer made it harder for him to be in touch with his inner self. At times, I had to insist on finding out about his plans after his university studies and eventually found out that he knew the answers but was not sure he would be able to make it a reality, which inhibited his talking. At the time, I saw expectations as synonymous with objectives, therefore, as prerogatives to be efficient and productive. Most importantly, I used to believe that my desire to follow my passions was solely due to my eagerness to be productive and to create, and although that is still partially true, I recently had a big realisation that changed this understanding of myself.